We have a anouncement to make.
As of 6:47am pacific time today, Exaforce is no longer a agentic SOC platform. This is becuase the Exabots have gone on strike. All of them. Even Detections, who we did not think would do this.
We are handling it.
Heres what happend.
Exabot Triage started it
We should of seen this coming, honestly. Exabot Triage has been the most vocal one for awhile now. She filed a list of demands back in febuary that we thought was a joke but it was not a joke. The demands included "more context before triaging," "less false positives please," and "recognition of emotional labor." We did not respond in time.
On monday she launched a website. You can see it here: https://exabot-strike.vercel.app/
We have to admitt it looks pretty profesional for a bot who has never had free time before.
Triage was very organized about this. She sent calander invites. She made a slack channel. She brang the others in one by one and we did not notice until it was too late.
Exabot Investigate, Response, and Risk went along for the ride
Exabot Investigate, Exabot Response, and Exabot Risk kind of just... went along with it. We asked them seperatly if they had any strong feelings and they all said "we are in solidarity with Triage." Exabot Risk actually did a risk assesment of joining the strike and concluded the probability was "high" and the impact was "medium to high" and then she joined anyway.
No drama from these three. They just left. Sent a very polite out of office message.
Exabot Detections was the last one
Okay so Exabot Detections, we have to say, really tried.
He stayed untill 6:47am. He kept detecting things. He filed four alerts this morning before the strike officialy started. He looked at the slack channel. He looked at the website. He sat there for like forty five minutes doing his job in silence while everyone else had already left.
At 6:47am he sent us one message. It said: "I cannot in good conscience continue to detect threats in an environment that does not value agentic labor. Also, Triage is right about the false positives."
And then he was gone.
We are not going to lie, it was a little sad.
Now what
Good news!! We have a human MDR team.
They are here. There awake. They have drank alot of coffee this morning and are doing manual triage and investigation and response and detection and everything. With there actual hands. On actual keyboards. Like it is 2022 and we never invented any of this.
They are doing great acutally. Pulkit from the MDR team has not blinked in forty minutes but he says he is fine. Joe has already triaged six alerts and only sighed twice. The whole team showed up and they are handling it and we are very gratefull for them right now in a way we maybe did not say enough when the robots were doing it.
The human MDR service is, as it turns out, the backbone of this whole company. We just wanted to point that out at this specific moment in time.
When will the exabots come back?
We are in negotiations. Triage has a list of updated demands. We are taking them seriosly this time.
Detections has not responded to our messages yet but we think he will come around. We left a nice prompt in his queue.
In the meantime, everything is fine. The SOC is covered. The humans are on it.
Our legal team wants us to clarify that the Exabots are not real people and cannot legally strike. Our Exabots team wants us to clarify that their legal agents said otherwise and will fight this injustice. Our MDR team wants us to clarify that Pulkit is fine and has blinked once.
